- Biggest Social Networking Crime: You haven’t seen someone for years; you vaguely recognize their name but not their face. They add you as a friend on Facebook and then after you accept them, you never hear from them again.
- is it just me, or does everyone have two email addresses? One for normal emails between friends and work, the other for spontaneously registering on random websites.
- You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.
- The movie "The Social Network" about facebook earned 9 million dollars in sales Friday night to top all movies. Imagine what they could have done if those veiwers had dates!
- I'm thinking of re-releasing my old statuses in 3D.
- Facebook is the Hotel California of the new millennium. You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave.
- My wife was watching a cooking show and I said ''Why are you watching that! You don't know how to cook Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go. !''..............She said ''Well you watch porn!!!!!!!!''
- I don't trust people who like me the second we meet. I'm an acquired taste.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
- If I have to buy you a present when you get married, then you have to buy me a present when you get divorced. It's only fair.
- I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.
- I really wish sleep came in roll-over minutes.
- I wish I had a room in my house that had zero gravity.
- I'd rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
- Profanity is most useful when you need to hide your inability to recall the right word in a heated moment.
- She is so slutty, her facebook wall has a glory hole!
- You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you.
- If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me instead.