More Funny Status Message to use as you.. | Halloween Madness | Harricane Sandy

1. How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there. I've killed like fifteen zombies already. Why are they all carrying candy?
2. Technically, I never really lost my mind. It just got scared and ran away.
3. I`m always the one attempting to catch people when they fall. Now I’m beginning to wonder who`s going to catch me?
4. Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life has never experienced two candy bars falling down at the same time from a vending machine!
5. I just yawned so loud now I'm pretty sure a whale somewhere is trying to answer.
6. I’m the type of person that tries to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream
7. The nice thing about picking up hitch hikers is that you can use the car pool lane before they kill you.
8. Not telling me something because you "don`t want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.
9. I just spotted some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces.
10. I crush up cheetos, pour the dust into a salt shaker, and sprinkle it on everything.
11. Just a reminder that you don't have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
12. Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.
13. What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.
14. Just remember, if we get caught, you are deaf and I don`t speak english.
15. Can you imagine pulling soft French bread out of the oven, breaking it in half, and sticking your feet in your brand new bread slippers?
16. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
17. Don't know what's happening outside but inside my blanket fort it's partly lazy with a 100% chance of awesome.
18. Just woke up from a blackout and my whole block is without power and a bunch of cars on the street are smashed. WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!!
19. When someone yells "Shotgun!" I yell "Rosa Parks!" sit down and refuse to move.
20. Still not sure how to throw away a pizza box.
21. The HR department said its OK for me to dress up as Winnie The Pooh for Halloween. So I'm wearing a short-sleeved red sweater, nothing else.
22. The cops were like "say the alphabet backwards" so I said "the alphabet backwards" and we laughed and laughed. Send bail money.
23. This Status is old.....I'll just go stand in the corner
24. I'd probably watch an episode of The Jersey Shore if the cast was learning how to surf right now.