20 MONDAY FUNNY, RIDICULOUS, WITTY, HILARIOUS STATUS UPDATES

• Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.
• I can see smoke on the horizon. God I hope it's rest of Monday burning to the ground
• Thank God It's Monday" ~ Your Liver
• Monday is like a kid having s*x for the first time...it came too soon!
• Finally, that rare and elusive Monday we like.
• On Sunday nights, if you listen closely,,, you can hear Monday taunting you with the "Jaws" theme.
• Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... "Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep."
• Things I don't like: 1) Probably you. 2) Cold coffee. 3) Small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.
• I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear.
• You know when the police arrive at your job at 9am on a Monday... Its going to be an interesting day.
• Monday isn't so bad if you: skip work, get hammered, join a gang, get a piercing, bang a hooker and buy a giraffe. It’s Tuesday that sucks.
• Monday?! But, I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet....
• If we all band together and don't show up for work tomorrow, we could put an end to this 'wake up on Monday' nonsense once and for all. Spread the word.
• There's no more difficult transition than Sunday to Monday...
• Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.
• I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.
• The toughest activity of a week starts right from Monday morning....its called "Waking Up"
• Just reminding everyone that it's Monday, just in case any of you were feeling overly optimistic.
• If Monday had a face, I'd punch it.
• Today is Monday, and that's reason enough for me to hate it.