18 FUNNY, HILARIOUS CLASSIC SATURDAY STATUSES

• I really need a day in between Saturday an Sunday.
• Just sold a lawn mower on eBay. That will be the last time my neighbor wakes me up on a Saturday morning.
• Happy Saturday!!! May the only work you do be piecing together last night's partying texts.
• Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.
• It's almost guaranteed that every Saturday and Sunday I ask my friends, "Did I do anything stupid last night?"
• You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. But there's a problem... You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. You're not fooling anyone.
• Typical Saturday Morning: Who's bed is this and where are my pants?
• Middle Age---When you sit at home on a Saturday night and the phone rings and you really hope it's not for you.
• I Think my neighbor is holding a Saturday night mass. "Oh god! "Oh lord!" Oh jesus!"
• A religious man is one who feels repentant on a Sunday, for what he did on Saturday and will do again on Monday.
• Remember the days of He-Man, Ninja Turtles, Rainbow Brite, Pound Puppies and Pee Wee's Playhouse? Those Saturday mornings were worth getting up for....
• One of the best parts about Saturday and Sunday mornings is reading the Status Updates people post after a night of drinking.
• Acting as if today is Saturday. Going to work unshaved, no shower, in shorts and a T, full cooler of beer as my brief case, and the attitude of "don't bother me, it's Saturday".
• my new excuse for leaving the bar early on a Saturday NIght: "I gotta Preach tomorrow."
• Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

If you can't use your turn signals, you should not be trusted with the rest of the car either.

1. Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they're telling me that I'm doing a great job driving.
2. If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
3. I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
4. The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
5. Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
6. Friends are just people I hate marginally less than everyone else.
7. Ladies.. Yall had 7 months to get mentally prepared for Football Season. We dealt with yall Loser Wives shows all year!
8. Mentally preparing yourself to step out of the shower during winter.
9. I miss being able to slam my phone shut when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing "end call" just doesn't do it for me.
10. "In college Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. So he and Romney have something in common. Both have the experience of driving a car with a dog on the roof."