35 WITTY HILARIOUS FRIDAY STATUSES

1. Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Jack Daniels and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
2. Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!
3. Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday.
4. I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts.
5. Friday, Yay the weekends here...*BLINK* Monday? WTF?
6. Thursday doesn't even count as a day, it's just the thing that's blocking friday.
7. Friday, is that you???????
8. Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for 'em.
9. Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?
10. If you're playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.
11. Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.
12. Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
13. The way I see it, EVERY Friday is Good Friday.
14. I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they are enjoying their Friday
15. Notice the same people that complain about being broke are the same people that are updating status saying they are out shopping on Friday.
16. Thursday, which is "Friday Eve" in Optimisian.
17. dear Friday, I'm ready..
18. It's Friday!!!!!! I just thought i'd tell ya'll that just incase you haven't seen all the other 1000 post about it.
19. Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.
20. Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front
21. instead of that daylight savings crap why dont we just move the clock ahead an hour every friday at noon so we get outta work early , then on sunday move the clock back an hour at like 3AM so we can sleep that extra hour .
22. Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?
23. i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.
24. Its friday everybody! Maybe I should make a song about it.......u know, just to get the word out
25. The power of Friday compels you! The power of Friday compels you!
26. has 32 friends online right now on a Friday night....Your all a bunch of losers...I am proud to be one of you.......!
27. now taking reservations for midnight kisses on Friday night. Sign up below.
28. Mom always said "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours.." THANK YOU FRIDAY!!, I Love You, too!!!! I've always loved you. You and I are belong together! This is wonderful! We shall celebrate your return!!
29. To whom it may concern, The inventor of thirsty Thursday obviously never had to work on friday...
30. Don't wait untill friday, start your weekend on monday !!
31. Memo to my coworkers: It is Friday afternoon, and I have some serious web browsing and personal emailing to take care of, so please refrain from walking behind my cubicle. Thank you.
32. In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.
33. Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.
34. loves the smell of Friday in the morning, it smells like... WEEKEND.
35. I've run out of pictures to colour in, in my colouring in book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday...

I learned to give not because I have much, but because I know how it feels to have nothing.

1. We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson.
2. How to find the name of a song: Type all the words you know on Google and hope for the best.
3. If I knew as much as I forgot, I'd be one smart person.
4. It makes me sad to think there are people in this world who have a Kardashian as their favorite celeb.
5. Guys don't realize how hard it is to be a girl and have to pretend you never ever poop.
6. In a way, I feel sorry for the kids of this generation They'll have parents who know how to check their browser history.
7. Im just going to assume that food stamps come with an Iphone, new airmaxes, and rims for the cadillac they give you.
8. Remember,,, The worst things in life are free, too
9. My boyfriend says I treat him like a child. So I gave him a sticker for standing up for himself.
10. Putting on a warm shirt that just came out of the dryer is quite possibly one of the best feelings ever.
11. I wasn't whole until we met. Only now am I a complete idiot.
12. Know that stunning girl who says naughty things and constantly posts pics of herself? I GUARANTEE you'd be SICK of her in like two weeks.
13. The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.
14. Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.
15. If you're in line, and the person in front of you doesn't notice the line moving, how soon can you shove them before it's considered rude?