END OF THE WORLD STATUS UPDATES

People on Social sites will always make a joke out of anything. I had no plans to post anything here today but after checking out what people are saying about this "END OF THE WORLD" thing I'm left with no other choice. Well, here's a collection of just a few status updates that am sure you'll like.

1. _____I woke up alive! GREAT! Now I have to go put real gifts in all those pretty wrapped boxes. Can't NEVER count on NOBODY these days.
2. _____Hi guys. Good news! It's the 21st and the world hasn't ended. Love, Australia.
3. _____If you woke up this morning my mission to save the world was successful.
4. _____ Did we DIE?! Is this hell?! Oh! we didn't, so you're telling me I'm just at work... well carry on then
5. _____Mayans are the main reason why I have trust issues.
6. _____ So, when is the next end of the world?
7. _____If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership
8. _____Congratulations, you survived the Mayan Disaster. Please resume your life. Thank you.
9. _____The world won't end in 2012, Marty Mcfly has been to 2015.
10. _____Before we blame the Mayans let us ask ourselves; what if Bruce Willis and his crew are actually up there and they have successfully nuked the meteor
11. _____Embarrassed the world didn't end today. Now I'm awkwardly sitting at my desk without pants...
12. _____Well...this apocalypse is off to a slow start...can't believe I shaved my balls for this.
13. _____spent all my money last night on strippers and beer thinking the world was ending... now what?!
14. _____I just found a jar in the fridge, with expiry date 21/12/2012. I looked at it twice, and indeed, it was mayannaise!

Others:

1. _____I have the same level of concentration as someone defusing a bomb when Im entering the number combination of my snack in the vending machine
2. _____The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me seven more times before then.
3. _____I wish I could put people up to the light to see if they're fake or real like a 20 dollar bill.
4. _____You know it's a crappy gift when the giver launches into an explanation before you've finished unwrapping it.
5. _____If you're not making your candy cane into a pointy sharp weapon, you're eating it wrong.
6. _____I like to carry my drill in a holster not a gun, I still look intimidating but with the added bonus of being very handy.
7. _____When I was little, I used to sing in the shower. Now? I make life decisions in there.
8. _____Well, if this apocalypse doesn't work out, I hear there's a Jamaican calender that ends on 4/20 next year.

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Christmas status updates

Halloween Facebook Statuses

• if you want to visit a graveyard this Halloween just log into myspace!
• I had to take back my OJ Simpson Halloween costume because the glove didn't fit.
• Advice of the day: Don't go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it's not Halloween
• All year I try to give candy to children and the parents start yelling "don't take candy from strangers!"Then Halloween comes around and you send the brats to my front door. Well I'm keeping my candy this time!
• For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
• Hey people with $3k worth of Halloween decorations in your yard, WTF?
• Halloween is coming… and you know what that means. An excuse for every girl to dress slutty and get away with it.
• hopes this Halloween, he doesn't end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.
• Sorry, dear. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
• How to save money on Halloween candy, set a empty bowel on the front porch and write a nice note that says please only take one piece of candy, that way everyone can have some.
• Be nice to your neighbors.. They're the only ones who'll know the difference between your good screams and your bad screams..Happy Halloween!