THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

Looking for new witty hilarious Friday status updates? Well, you just landed at the right place. This blog has been here not for a very long time and if you've notice, It's long since I updated this blog. I've not been able to update new posts due to unavoidable circumstances... sorry for that guys. I've always wished to have this blog updated every now and then but guys, it's not an easy job. Lets cut the long story short and get down to business. I know your mouth must be watering for those witty Friday statuses that I have collected for you to keep your Facebook or tweeter on their toes wondering how smart you always become on Friday. ENJOY

1. ____There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
2. ____Friday! The only two who aren't excited about that are my bank account and my liver.
3. ____A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
4. ____When you're an Atheist, every Friday is good and nobody has to die.
5. ____Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.
6. ____Finding out alcohol was a depressant made me question science.
7. ____If I have to use gas station bathroom, I always open the door like I'm about to find a dead body in there.
8. ____ Ah yes, Friday. Wha...What was that? Saw it out of the corner of my eye. There, behind the...I just saw it duck down. There it is again disappearing just as I almost get a glimpse of it. MONDAY! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU BA$TARD!
9. ____Hey Liver, it's Friday... Time to clock-in!
10. ____To the 84yr woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby! It's Friday.
11. ____Friday Night Pick Up Line: Either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it is your choice.
12. ____On Friday nights I visit a club so exclusive nobody else knows it exists. It looks bizarrely like my living room & needs new cleaning staff.
13. ____Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
14. ____ Who do atheists thank for Friday?
15. ____Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
16. ____ Friday!!! I’m so glad you are back. I’m sorry you had to see me with Monday-Thursday, but I swear I was thinking of you the whole time.
17. ____ I know every day is a gift, but where's the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.

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Funny Friday
Crazy Friday

10 FUNNY STATUS UPDATES

1. _____Remember when there was a time limit on the drinking fountain as a kid? They need that at the Red-box! (Funny drinking status)
2. _____I think there should be a special place in hell for whoever invented those strings of Christmas lights that wont work at all or blink half assed because one damn bulb is blown! (Funny Christmas status)
3. _____Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the fuck down.(Funny broke status)
4. _____If my wife ever have sex with someone else I'll hunt that man down and then ask him his secret.(Funny relationship status)
5. _____Dear Friday, What the hell took you so long? Is that b*tch Thursday blocking your way again? (Funny Friday status)
6. _____My girlfriend just said that I put sports before our relationship. Bullshit. It's our sixth season together.(funny relationship status)
7. _____Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team.(Funny interview status)
8. _____The first time I got married I thought I was marrying a nymphomaniac. After a few months the nympho left and I was left with the maniac.(Funny relationship status)
9. _____That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.(Funny food status)
10. _____From time to time I like to get in touch with my feminine side, So every now and again I'll throw something with my left hand.(Epic)

More Funny Status Messages This Friday

1. Fire alarms should use the last of their battery to continue to monitor fire instead of getting all beepy!
2. Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the "Like" button.
3. If my memory gets any worse I'll be able to plan my own surprise party.
4. The funny thing is that the vast majority of my Facebook friends have no idea that I am slowly brainwashing them.
5. Why do people say ''I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
6. if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.
7. We can't date if you're gonna be all weird about my wife.
8. Every once in a while you come across a child that makes you never want kids. I am the parent of that child.
9. When I was kid, I was terrified of ear wigs because I thought they came out of your ears. Just imagine how scared I was when I heard about cockroaches!
10. When I say the other day, it can mean any time from yesterday to 364 days ago.
11. Is everything expensive or am I just that poor?
12. I hate being tired in school and thinking "I`m going to take a nap as soon as I get home" and then when I get home I`m not tired anymore.
13. Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes…the person you want most is the person you`re best without.
14. After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.

More Friday Statuses just for you

• Its Friday, Anything worth doing is worth doing weird.
• I remember one time when I was high... I asked a cat if it could talk. It replied Me? How?
• Everyone's like "I love Obama" or "I love Romney" and I'm just over here like "I love whiskey and beer"
• Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!
• It's Friday! Time to mute your conscience and party!
• I want to hold hands and waste friday nights with you while we both getting wasted.

35 WITTY HILARIOUS FRIDAY STATUSES

1. Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Jack Daniels and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
2. Its finally Friday! Felt like it took a week to get here!!
3. Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday.
4. I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts.
5. Friday, Yay the weekends here...*BLINK* Monday? WTF?
6. Thursday doesn't even count as a day, it's just the thing that's blocking friday.
7. Friday, is that you???????
8. Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for 'em.
9. Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?
10. If you're playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.
11. Remember: Being awake during a Saturday Morning sunrise is a sign of a good Friday Night.
12. Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
13. The way I see it, EVERY Friday is Good Friday.
14. I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they are enjoying their Friday
15. Notice the same people that complain about being broke are the same people that are updating status saying they are out shopping on Friday.
16. Thursday, which is "Friday Eve" in Optimisian.
17. dear Friday, I'm ready..
18. It's Friday!!!!!! I just thought i'd tell ya'll that just incase you haven't seen all the other 1000 post about it.
19. Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.
20. Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front
21. instead of that daylight savings crap why dont we just move the clock ahead an hour every friday at noon so we get outta work early , then on sunday move the clock back an hour at like 3AM so we can sleep that extra hour .
22. Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?
23. i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.
24. Its friday everybody! Maybe I should make a song about it.......u know, just to get the word out
25. The power of Friday compels you! The power of Friday compels you!
26. has 32 friends online right now on a Friday night....Your all a bunch of losers...I am proud to be one of you.......!
27. now taking reservations for midnight kisses on Friday night. Sign up below.
28. Mom always said "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours.." THANK YOU FRIDAY!!, I Love You, too!!!! I've always loved you. You and I are belong together! This is wonderful! We shall celebrate your return!!
29. To whom it may concern, The inventor of thirsty Thursday obviously never had to work on friday...
30. Don't wait untill friday, start your weekend on monday !!
31. Memo to my coworkers: It is Friday afternoon, and I have some serious web browsing and personal emailing to take care of, so please refrain from walking behind my cubicle. Thank you.
32. In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.
33. Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.
34. loves the smell of Friday in the morning, it smells like... WEEKEND.
35. I've run out of pictures to colour in, in my colouring in book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday...